Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
