and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
