If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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