I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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