They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
