i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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