Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
