Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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