You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
