So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
