So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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