We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize