Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
