btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i think my cat just said my name.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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