So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
