We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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