That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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