I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
