Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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