When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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