wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
