we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
