I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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