Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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