We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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