the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
