I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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