As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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