So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
