drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
