i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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