no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
