No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
