I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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