i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize