Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
