Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
