My pussy is not your playground.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
