$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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