he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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