Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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