Dude my mom stole all your condoms
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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