Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
