Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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