Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
