thus making me awesome and them whores
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
this will be a night to untag.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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