The maid of honor just puked.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
