The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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