I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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