i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
