I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
