My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
