am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
