you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will be naked everywhere
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
