Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
