Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
