its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
