nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
