woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
