i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i dont even know how to be here
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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