okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
