we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
