Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
