Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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