He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
