never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My vagina just recognized that song.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
