How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
