Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You were trust falling into bushes
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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