Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
