I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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