Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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