You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
