yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize