Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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