i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
