yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
