ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
